We won't get through life without experiencing loss. Unfortunately, most of us have never been taught how to deal with loss when it happens.
The first step to take after a loss is to acknowledge the presence of grief.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to a significant emotional loss of any kind. It is the result of the end or change in any familiar pattern or behavior. Unresolved grief can be described as a longing for things to be better, different or more than they were or are.
There are more than 43 types of loss that can produce the wide range of emotions we call grief.
The long list of losses includes:
• End of any relationship
• Loss of Career
• Loss of Health
• Major Financial Changes
• Significant Lifestyle Change (new parents, child moving out)
• Retirement and many others
Click here to identify some of the other losses that might be affecting your ability to live a healthy, active and rewarding life.
Grief is individual and unique.
There is no list of feelings that will adequately describe your individual feelings. The thoughts and feelings you will have about any relationship that has been altered or ended will be unique to you. The important thing for you to know is that all feelings are valid.
Even though grief is normal and natural, most of the information society has provided us about grief is not normal, natural or helpful.
Grief is the emotional response to loss, but most of the information we have learned about dealing with loss is intellectual. The intellectual misinformation we have received can be summed up in six myths that are so common almost everyone recognizes them.
• Time Heals All Wounds
• Grieve Alone
• Be Strong
• Don’t Feel Bad
• Replace the Loss
• Keep Busy
Most of us have never questioned the validity of these beliefs.
The myth that “time heals” creates the idea that if you wait long enough you will feel better. I have known people who have waited 10, 20, and 30 years and still didn’t feel better. Not only had time not healed them, but it had compounded the pain. The other five myths carry equally unhelpful messages.
Regardless of the cause or the apparent significance of the loss, anyone who is experiencing the conflicting feelings of grief can benefit from taking the actions steps of The Grief Recovery Method.
This heart-centered, educational, action based program will provide the guidance, tools and support for you to complete any significant relationship that has ended or changed. You will be shown how to safely say goodbye to any pain associated with your loss.
The Grief Recovery Method is for you if you:
1. Have experienced loss, either recent or long ago
2. Have a broken heart
3. Want to feel better
Although there are no stages or feelings that every single griever experiences there are some common symptoms of grief.
The Grief Recovery Method is for you if you answer yes to any of these common symptoms:
• Do you feel tired?
• Do you feel emotionally drained?
• Are you unable to stop crying or do you feel numb?
• Do you pretend to be happy?
• Do you isolate yourself from others?
• Have your eating or sleeping patterns changed?
• Do fond memories of your loved one turn painful?
• Are you experiencing unexplained changes in your health?
• Do you suffer from mild depression or anxiety?
If you have experienced one or more losses, and you wish to move beyond the pain, the Grief Recovery Method offers you the probability of living a richer, healthier and more rewarding life.
Call me today so we can talk about how the Grief Recovery Method can benefit you.
Frequently Asked Questions
The Grief Recovery Method program is designed to teach you how to identify past losses that are impacting your ability to let go and move on so you can live a happy, healthy, more rewarding and complete life.
This program is for you if you if:
• you have experienced one or more losses and want to move beyond the pain
• someone has been telling you it’s time to “let go” or “move on”
• you are ready to let go and move on but you still don’t know how
To provide facilitated support to help you grieve and complete your relationship to the pain and unfinished business caused by death, divorce, or any significant emotional loss.
As your facilitator, I will create the safe environment required for you to look at old beliefs without judgement, identify the losses that have affected your life, and teach you how to take new actions that will lead to the completion of the pain attached to one of those losses.
The text book and format used in the Grief Recovery Method program have been developed by John W. James and Russell Friedman, founders of the Grief Recovery Institute. The first edition of the Grief Recovery Handbook was written over 30 years ago, and continues to be one of the most effective and efficient processes for dealing with grief.
Grief is not a pathological condition or a personality disorder, but society says there is something wrong with you if you aren’t happy all of the time. Learning to deal with grief means becoming aware of the how the things you’ve tried may be exasperating the problem rather than helping you to recover.
The answer is immediately.
The single biggest inaccurate idea that we are socialized to believe is that “time heals all wounds.” Time does not heal, but there are specific actions you can take to help you discover and complete unfinished emotional business after loss of any kind.
When can you begin to discover and complete all of the things that you wish had ended “better, different, or more,” and all of the “broken hopes, dreams, and expectations” about the future?
It’s in the time immediately following a loss (divorce included) that our memories of that relationship are most vivid and accurate. Even through the perceived “numbness” that accompanies grief there is easy and instant access to both finished and unfinished business in the relationship.
Waiting to do grief work is potentially dangerous. Most likely you know that grievers tend to create larger than life memory pictures in which they either “enshrine or bedevil” the person who died. This phenomenon increases with time, making it more difficult to discover and complete the “truth” within the relationship.
Unresolved grief can take us “out of the moment,” sometimes causing us to become lost in conversations and thought about people who are no longer physic ally with us. (This is not limited to death. We are equally likely to become lost in thought about a conversation with a former spouse, still living, who is not physically present).
Assuming that our physical health is okay, unresolved grief also drains us of energy. It tends to close our hearts down. Since we’re incomplete with a prior loss we automatically protect ourselves by not loving again. We “hold back” in order to protect our hearts, thereby dooming new relationships to fail. In addition, grievers tend to hide their true feelings for fear of being judged.
Where isolation is the problem, participation is a major component of the solution. The Grief Recovery Method Support Workshop is the ultimate participation aimed at discovering and completing the unfinished emotional business that fuels isolation.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. It is not a pathological condition, nor is it a personality disorder. The Grief Recovery Method is an educational experience, based on the fact that most of us were never taught effective tools for dealing with grief. Participants find that any subsequent therapy is enhanced by their experience in the workshop. In fact, many therapists refer clients to the workshop.
This program will work for you if:
• you are suffering from a broken heart
• you have you experienced a series of losses that have left you feeling lost or alone
• you feel like your past losses are preventing you from living at 100%
• you are willing to look at how old beliefs are preventing you from letting go and moving on
• you are willing to take responsibility for your own healing and recovery
It is never too soon to heal your broken heart. Would you wait to get help if you broke your arm? Then why wait when your heart has been broken?
It’s in the time immediately following a loss that your memories of those relationships are the most vivid and accurate. Those memories will help you discover what you need to get complete with in any relationship that has ended.
Read all this and still have questions?
Call me today so we can talk about how the Grief Recovery Method can benefit you.