Grief Changes Everything
Learn How to Make Peace with Your Feelings of Grief
Grief can be an incredibly isolating experience.
We all do grief and loss differently, so often it feels like there’s no one to talk to and no one who really “gets you”. But, there are some common patterns to recovering from loss that I can help you navigate.
If you have found yourself at a point in life where the loss of someone (spouse, child, friendship etc.) or something (retirement, empty nest, moving to a new home etc.) are affecting you deeply, there are skills you can learn that will make this time in your life easier.
There are more than 43 types of loss that can produce the wide range of emotions we call grief. You can read the long list here if you’re curious. But even with as many flavors of grief as we have in the ice cream aisle at the grocery story, we all experience it differently.
No two grief experiences are the same.
- You may hide from you grief, while others wallow in theirs.
- You may feel a wide range of feelings, while others simply feel numb.
- You may talk to everyone about your loss, while others share their feelings with no one.
- You may want desperately to move on with your life, while others do whatever they can to make the past come back to life
- And you may think that this will never end, while others dream of moving on and letting go.
Grief is as individual and unique as you are.
To manage grief and loss, I offer three different programs to support you.
The great benefit of all of this work is that when we do the work, you do move past your pain. Grief and loss are often so intense because inside they are like a tea kettle full of boiling water. If you don’t take the lid off, the steam will leak out and there’s no stopping it. But, when you find ways to let the pressure go, the water can bubble away without causing extra stress on the vessel around it.
In the world of grief, the vessel is really your heart, body and mind. When you give grief a place to express itself, it stops leaking out at work, in your relationship or in other less appropriate ways. Your feelings and thoughts get a special place so they are heard and can then stop controlling your life.
That is the work we do, and I would be truly honored to help you through your grief and loss journey.
Life After Loss
This program is a short term experience designed to help you make peace with the way you feel. Often clients who do the best in this program have experienced a significant loss (often in the past year), that is impacting their ability to do their daily work or live their everyday life.
Often what is needed is a safe place to share your loss, your thoughts and your feelings. We will work together to unearth what your loss has meant to you and what it will take to find your way to bring some normalcy back to life again.
For some clients, we get right to work using a program called the Grief Recovery Method to help restore order to the chaos you are feeling. Feelings, memories, perspective and how to move on are all a part of the work we do together.
Other clients need this work plus ongoing coaching to help them learn how to live again after their loss. As needed, we can explore extended coaching to support you in getting back to a happier place (perhaps for the very first time) and how to work through your story about the loss you have experienced and what it means for your life ahead.
When Adults Grieve
While all grief and loss matches some patterns, grieving as an adult has some special challenges. For instance, how do you grieve when you’re also busy being a parent and an employee? Where is there time for you to have the breakdown you so desperately need when you have responsibilities that give very little time or space just for you.
It’s not easy to take a “timeout” for grief when you’re an adult, yet that’s exactly what you need because grief can affect every aspect of your life. One study actually quotes that divorce can cause a 50-70% loss of productivity for an employee. And divorce is second in intensity to the loss of a child.
When something this big hits your heart, it’s very hard to not let it take over your life. I can help you make the space for your grief to be in your life but not BE your life. When I work with adults, we cover basic grief and loss education, but then get into the specific details of how you can make space for grief so it doesn’t linger longer than needed.
As adults we all have to face the inevitable death of our parents and eventually our own morality. Both are big questions and for many, big fears to address. Losing your Mom or Dad is life changing forever even if you didn’t have a good relationship with your parents when they were living.
If you have experienced a significant loss or are dealing with a more predictable one, my process can help you. Depending on where you are in your grief and loss, we can address both your immediate needs as well as how to make sense of a new future ahead of you.
When Children Grieve
As a parent, nothing is harder to witness than our kids in grief. Their little hearts breaking for someone they lost is heart wrenching and calls out for help. When children grieve, there’s a bit of a different experience than you may have as an adult. Depending on the child’s age there will be parts of the loss that make more or less sense to them.
That said, the loss of a parent is a hole in a child’s heart like no other, but other more common forms of grief can feel just as devastating: their parent’s divorce, moving to a new home/town, changing schools, a friend moving away … to a child, all of these things are enormous shifts in their consciousness and can affect them deeply.
If your child is experiencing a loss, I can help you work with them to make sense of what’s happening. Sometimes, we need to focus directly on accepting what has happened and then work through the feelings that follow. For other kids, they already “know” what’s gone on, but they are still sad or stuck in wishful thinking that life will go back to the way it was.
Together, we can help them get through this tough time and create a better vision for what lies ahead.